Disbelief and indecition

Things have been said, and while I meant every word, I know im the only
one who did.
I just know you've done this before, and its too much to think about.

I don't know what im doing anymore, it just feels... ?

I don't want to be just another one on the list, but I know that's all I
am to you.

Xoxo Willow

fucking genius!

Because pretty much every month I am convinced I am in the middle of some sort of life-altering emotional crisis. I believe this for about three days before I’m like, “Waaaaait a minute.” And then I realize WHY I’m like this.
but IF you’re on a pretty regular schedule AND it effects you that strongly, couldn’t you just put it on your calendar so you have a reminder?
Oh, I totally have one. But for some reason when I am THAT emotional, it never occurs to me that it is entirely hormonal. Because it seems so much bigger than that at the time.
Besides, it’s so much more entertaining to be dramatic. WAHHHHHH, etc.
Also there’s the part where feeling completely mental headcase everything makes you cry and GOD WHY ME! I AM SO DAMAGED!!! isn’t really alleviated by knowing that’s how you’re going to feel. Actually now that I keep track of that kind of thing, it’s on my mind more and I dread it more and ultimately, we’re just going to lose it for a few days regardless AND IT IS SO MUCH FUN!!!1
I like ice cream.

This? Is why I have been a complete psycho bitch for the past 3 days. Sure, I can call myself that, but if anyone else were to so much as mumble that word in my presence WELL THEN IT JUST ISN’T YOUR FUCKING DAY!
I have cried and yelled and then cried some more. I sobbed for a solid 5 minutes after I saw one of those God-forsaken Sarah McLachlan Humane Society ads. I whined and bitched when the “inbred asshole” at Zaxby’s (yeah, Zaxby’s - I know) gave me a house salad instead of the garden Caesar salad that I ordered. I got misty-eyed during a Grey’s Anatomy voiceover at the end of the episode 10 minutes after I got done yelling at the cat for vomiting up the entire contents of her stomach on my favorite pair of jeans.

Also? I need a brownie, and I need it now

lmao... this is care of http://www.tiffanyjmoore.com/
i follow her on Twitter (yes yes, i know *stalks* but screw you)
anyway, i laughed so hard at this... then kind of turned to myself (there is a mirror on the wall opposite me, i can actually DO that) and thought about how i was last time... and frankly.. i laughed mnore becase hey, it works

and i also want a brownie with ice cream now. bitch. :D

xoxo Willow

Fuck you telstra

Something is very wrong with telstra right now... stupid shits not
letting me on the internet on my phone, but its not just me, all people
with hiptops that I know, so im not the only one FRUSTRATED! Ugh... fkn
annoying shit

This is being sent via email... just to see if it works really.
I hate you telstra!

Xoxo Willow
--
Powered by Telstra hiptop.

Heavy hearted lover

I feel like my chest is imploding in, its too much.

Im like a black hole, im pulling too much into myself when it comes to
feeling this.
Im terrefied of you, because I know you're not even remotely afraid of
what will happen to you when im not around anymore.

The day you stop pretending you care, will be the day I stop pretending
I don't, and by then I'll be gone.

Xoxo Willow

yes.. i WOULD love a drink, why thank you..


right now... at work... i wanna sleep till it's over and i can be where i was before

...or go back to the place i'm SUPPOSED to be... either way, i'm gonna lay on the bed and smile a bit XD

xoxo Willow

apricots

im getting sick... or.. i was a bit sick and... oh i dont know. one of the two...

either way i'm killing the Duro-Tuss... and it tastes like apricot... or schnapps.... bliss. lol

for some reason, other than the cough, i've been really... happy.. the last few days, it's odd, i dont know if i will ever be used to it, lol. but i'm happy, and i think it's because i'm not freaking out over small things anymore. i dont know what comment was made, or who said it... but something has put me at ease again.

i like the feeling.

trusting. it's just so strange. i know it wont last, but i like it while it's here

xoxo Willow

If this is what you want, then fire at will...

Listening to My Chem always puts me in a funny mood. i mean, i love it, but i always feel like the little 14 year old emo/goth kid i was 9 years ago, in highschool. broken and tainted by things i didnt know were venomous to my mental health.

And i kind of miss someone i shouldnt miss, and i dont understand just how i miss them, since the last time i saw them was.... i dont even remember really. he's a my best friend, or... he was. he was my world, and i miss being his. i dont think it's so much Litter, as it was the way i had someone i could always count on to be my support system. i went and screwed it up by falling in love with him, and letting him love me back, but we let it fall apart together. but thats hardly here no there, not anymore.

to use the phrase that ended our relationship, as it was, and the statesment i now understand so completely it bites into my very skin...

"I just miss having my best friend."

xoxo Willow